It's Time To Forgive & Forget

I've been up since 3:30am - my little man had a raging fever. He's ok now, and was back to sleep by 5. I decided to stay up (since I already downed 2 cups of coffee) and got a little workout in. I'm feeling great!

These last few days I have stuck with eating healthy, drinking 8-10 glasses of water every day, and exercising (a minimum of 10 mins a day - basically all I can get in while watching 4 kids under the age of 4). I have so much energy, it's insane. So much so, that I have a hard time falling asleep, which kind of sucks.

So, I'm sitting here, post-workout, with a glass of water, and decided to update the blog.

As I'm sitting here, I'm staring at my Grade 8 graduation dress.Yes, the dress I wore when I was 13. I'm a pack-rat and I love to keep everything, but it amazes me that I've kept it all these years. I had this dress at a time when I was convinced that I was fat, obese, ugly, unworthy - all because the people surrounding me told me I was. I was teased constantly. There were comments about my weight on a daily basis. It was torture. I wasn't that much bigger than anyone else, yet because I wasn't the same size, I was picked on.

Recently I met a new friend. She's one of those people that, just after talking for 10 minutes, you feel as if you've known her your entire life.

She was over the other day, and I pulled out my graduation dress. I told her that my goal was to fit into that dress again. To get back to the weight/size that I was when I thought I was fat. This dress is at least 5-6 sizes too small. It hurts to think that back then, at only 13, I hated myself.

I told my friend my goals, and together we came up with a plan to help me reach them. She said something to me that stuck. She said "Don't let the kids from grade 8 haunt you and keep you from your goals."

Even after all these years, I still think about the comments, the hate, the endless teasing. But what she said was so true. After that, I knew I needed to move on from grade 8 and live my life.

To those people who made my life hell:

I forgive you.
I forgive you for taking away my self-esteem and self-worth.
I forgive you for making me cry myself to sleep every night.
I forgive you for making me feel unworthy.

It's time to let go of the past.

It's time to forgive and forget.

It's time to love myself, and know that I am worthy, and those comments will not haunt my thoughts again.

Happy Tuesday.
Go be yourself. Go be fabulous!

Caitie xo