The good, The bad, and The ugly

Well, it's definitely been a while. I should've updated every week, but I didn't ... and I really have no excuse other than the fact that I have completely and utterly fallen off the wagon. Hard. I've been eating SO shitty, that I literally feel sick. Why have I been doing this? Because I'm stressed. There's a million things happening, some good some bad, and I've been stuffing my face in order to cope with it. The perks of being an emotional eater, I guess. I can't even tell you how much weight I've gained because I'm terrified to step on the scale.

I'm in the midst of trying to quit smoking. I thought eating healthy and exercising was hard ... but NOTHING compares to trying to stop smoking. It's sad that it's so addicting, and has so much power over someones life. The good news is that I've managed to cut down from a pack per day to half a pack. Everyday I try and have one less cigarette, but it's hard. Eating and smoking are how I deal with stress amd other emotions. I need another outlet tode-stress, and I've decided that exercise is it. I haven't exercised in God knows how long, but I'm going back to it. I may have fallen pretty fast and hard off the wagon, but I'm getting back on. 

I've also decided to stick to weighing myself once a month. I've become obsessed with my scale - some weeks weighing myself multiple times a day. But what good is that? It's definitely not motivating. 

So, as of this morning I have jumped back onto the wagon. I'm going to take it slow, day-by-day. I'll suck it up, and weigh myself today so I know where I'm at and where I need/want to be. I'm hoping to be officially done smoking by January 1st. It'll be a hell of a lot easier to exercise when I'm not out of breath and wheezing the entire time. I have a huge dispenser that I'm using for water. I've filled it up, dumped 3 trays of ice cubes into it, and added 3 lemons. Another goal is to try and up my water intake every week, and I know this will help. (I'll have to take a picture of it to show you) 

So, all-in-all, it's been a shitty few weeks. But I'm slowly getting back on track. I'm not completely giving up, not after how far I've come in the last few years. I'm focusing on a few goals, instead of so many that it overwhelms me. I'll keep updating the blog once a week. :) 

Happy Monday, don't give up.

Caitie -xo-