The good, The bad, and The ugly

Well, it's definitely been a while. I should've updated every week, but I didn't ... and I really have no excuse other than the fact that I have completely and utterly fallen off the wagon. Hard. I've been eating SO shitty, that I literally feel sick. Why have I been doing this? Because I'm stressed. There's a million things happening, some good some bad, and I've been stuffing my face in order to cope with it. The perks of being an emotional eater, I guess. I can't even tell you how much weight I've gained because I'm terrified to step on the scale.

I'm in the midst of trying to quit smoking. I thought eating healthy and exercising was hard ... but NOTHING compares to trying to stop smoking. It's sad that it's so addicting, and has so much power over someones life. The good news is that I've managed to cut down from a pack per day to half a pack. Everyday I try and have one less cigarette, but it's hard. Eating and smoking are how I deal with stress amd other emotions. I need another outlet tode-stress, and I've decided that exercise is it. I haven't exercised in God knows how long, but I'm going back to it. I may have fallen pretty fast and hard off the wagon, but I'm getting back on. 

I've also decided to stick to weighing myself once a month. I've become obsessed with my scale - some weeks weighing myself multiple times a day. But what good is that? It's definitely not motivating. 

So, as of this morning I have jumped back onto the wagon. I'm going to take it slow, day-by-day. I'll suck it up, and weigh myself today so I know where I'm at and where I need/want to be. I'm hoping to be officially done smoking by January 1st. It'll be a hell of a lot easier to exercise when I'm not out of breath and wheezing the entire time. I have a huge dispenser that I'm using for water. I've filled it up, dumped 3 trays of ice cubes into it, and added 3 lemons. Another goal is to try and up my water intake every week, and I know this will help. (I'll have to take a picture of it to show you) 

So, all-in-all, it's been a shitty few weeks. But I'm slowly getting back on track. I'm not completely giving up, not after how far I've come in the last few years. I'm focusing on a few goals, instead of so many that it overwhelms me. I'll keep updating the blog once a week. :) 

Happy Monday, don't give up.

Caitie -xo-

Week 3 -Slowly but Surely

Happy #weighinsunday!

This week was fairly good! I had some cheat times and didn't exercise every day, but I'm down 5lbs!! So I'm now at 251.8lbs! I have passed my pre-baby weight - what a Phat Chick Fist Pump moment!!! My next goal is to get down to 230lbs, which is what I weighed in grade 11 - 10 years ago!  When I reach that goal, i'm going shopping. I already have clothes that are too big for me, but i'm cheap lol so I'm waiting until I get to that milestone to treat myself!

I came to the realization today that I most likely will not hit my 100lb loss by my goal date. And no, this does not mean i'm giving up. I'd rather be realistic now, than be disappointed in myself if I don't hit my goal. I'm still going to do everything I can to reach it, but I'm finally in the right frame of mind: if I don't get there by my goal, it doesn't mean I've failed. I've already come a LONG way, and by the time February 21st comes around, I'll be even healthier and in better shape than I am now.

So, this weeks' goals:

• keep track of EVERYTHING i put in my mouth. I've downloaded the MyFitness Pal app, and I'm planning on using it religiously this week (I haven't really utilized it yet) 
• lose 2-3"
• lose at least 3lbs
• exercise! (do Jillian Michaels dvds at least three times, go for walks, and use the Nike Training Club app
• stay positive! I've been pretty good up to this point, and I know that my positivity is what keeps me going! some days it's hard (especially lately when i'm running on no sleep) 

I think next month I'm going to invest in a gym membership also. I have a few friends who have them, and I think having a workout buddy will keep me on track with my exeecising! 

That's all for now, folks. See ya on the flipside (well, next sunday anyway!)

Stay positive, keep going, and never forget that I believe in YOU.

Caitie

xo

Week 2 Done & Gone

#WeighInSunday

Well, week 2 is done. The results? I have lost 3lbs! I'm down to 256.4! I'm slightly disappointed that I didnt hit the 7lb weightloss that I needed, but at the same time, I've lost 9lbs in 2 weeks and I'm damn proud of that!

I've also decided that I would keep track of my inch loss as well and post the results every other week! In 2 weeks I've lost 4"!

This week I had some serious cheat days, including alcohol, fast food, and cake! It's been a while since I've eaten greasy nasty shit and I feel gross and have mega cramps. Let me tell you, cheating is not worth it when it makes you feel like this!

This week I had 2 three-tiered cakes to do - one for my sons baptism, and one for a combined surprise party for my grandma and step mom. My entire week was focused on baking and decorating - So I pushed aside the healthy eating and exercising, which I shouldnt have done. I've also said it before, I'm an emotional eater. When I'm stressed, I eat.

Besides that, I really do feel great. The positive comments, love and support have been incredible! Everyone makes me feel like I can accomplish my goal, and that I've done a great job thus far!

My goals for this week: exercise everyday no matter how tired I am, not cheat, drink lots of water, and drop at least 6lbs! I know its possible and that I can do it. I just need to stay focused on my goal, and remember all the reasons why this is the best thing I can do for myself!

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and experience this journey with ne! Next week I will make sure I post my three week progress pictures!

Happy Sunday! Stay fabulous!

-xo-
Caitie

Week 1 Done - Feeling Good

So, as promised, I'm going to do weekly blog updates to track my progress for the next 15 weeks!

Week 1 was great! Started out not-so-great, though, when I saw the number on the scale. I gained some weight - I weighed 265.6 on Monday morning. The good thing is, I can lose it! The bad thing? I need to lose around 7lbs per week to reach my goal. Oh, Joy! But it's possible as long as I keep focused. 

Today is Weigh-in Sunday and I'm at ...... 259.4 !!!

I lost 6lbs this week! I'm so excited to be in the 250's again. 

My next goal is to reach 254lbs which is pre-babies weight! Talk about a Phat Chick Fist Pump!

This week was hard, but good. I tried some new foods, such as Tofurkey. If you know me, you know I LOVE meat. Love. But I know that I need to branch out and try new, healthier foods in order to get/stay healthy. I was actually extremely impressed with Tofurkey. I only ever eat chicken or turkey on sandwiches/wraps, and its definitely a great alternative to meat. And the best part? It tastes exactly like turkey! The texture was weird, but I got used to it pretty quickly. 

I also have a new obsession: Liquid Nutrition!

If you've never heard of it, check out their website. Delicious shakes with food combinations that you would never think to try! Peanut butter and kale? Beets and strawberries? But they are honestly theeeee best drinks around. And perfect for on-the-go if you dont have time to make a meal.

Exercises. I've done a lot of different ones this week. Everyday I do squats, crunches, lunges, jumping jacks, push-ups, planks, and wall-sits. I've also been doing Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 DVD, as well as some seriously sweat-inducing workouts from the Nike Training Club app! (if you can, download it. i love it!) 

So, I'm sure there's a burning question in the back of your minds ... Did I cheat this week? Yes. Yes, I did. My cheat day was Friday. We went out for dinner, and I was all ready to choose something healthy. I opened up the menu, and BAM. There was absolutely nothing healthy on the menu that I would eat. Ugh. This is why I constantly try to try new foods. Anyway, I ended up having a bacon cheeseburger and fries ... and to top it off, that night I had 4 rum and cokes! (I have relatives visiting from Ireland, so obviously we went out to the pub). 

This week (and in the weeks that follow) I've decided to give myself a cheat snack, once per week! (I chose Sunday nights as I love to curl up on the couch and watch Once Upon a Time!) 

I'm also going to increase my water intake, and try a few different foods! 

All-in-all, it was a good week. Even though I had a MEGA cheat day, I got back on track and rocked this week with a 6lb weightloss!

Stay tuned for weekly posts, and of i'm feeling up to it, I'll post yummy recipes!

Happy weigh-in Sunday! Stay fabulous! 

Caitie

-xo-

The Goal Is Approaching

February 21, 2014 is exactly 15 weeks and 5 days from today.It's also the date that I chose to lose 100lbs by. I have 70lbs to lose to get there, which is roughly 4.66lbs per week. Sounds insane, right? I know. It's terrifying. That's a lot of weight to lose. But there is no way in hell I won't achieve the goal I set for myself.

So, how am i going to lose almost 5lbs every week? A lot of hard work and a very detailed schedule (food/drink, exercise). I've taken the time to write out EVERYTHING - when i'm going to eat each meal, what I'm eating, snacks, when i'm exercising and what exercises I'm doing, how many km I'm going to walk each week, etc. I'm going to be strict with my "cheat days". I'm going to make sure I succeed, not just for myself, but for my children as well. And I'm going to make sure I look in the mirror everyday and tell myself I AM BEAUTIFUL, and be proud of everything I have already accomplished.

I've come so far, I can't stop now.

Since it's such a big goal, I'm going to update the blog every week on my "weigh-in" day. I'llexplain the exercises I've done, the meals/snacks I've prepared, updated pictures, and my goals for the following week.

I want you to know every bit of my journey. I want you to know that it's not easy. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. I want you to know that it IS possible, and if I can do it in a year, so can you. I want you to know that I'm here for YOU, that I believe in you, and I know you can also do it.

Until next Sunday ... keep smiling!

Caitie
-xo-

Sunday Funday

Hey Phat Chick fans!

I had a crazy busy weekend! 4 cakes & 138 cupcakes, plus I went out on the town with some awesome friends for a few bevvy's! It was a wicked time, but i'm happy the hangover has finally disappeared.

I don't normally go out to the bars, mainly because they make me feel old. I swear everyone that's out nowadays is under age. Plus, the way most of the girls dress is awful. C'mon ladies, a little self-respect goes a long way! No one needs to see your crotch or your nipples, fyi.

But for the first time in a LONG time, I felt wicked. Eating healthy & exercising has given me an unreal amount of confidence! Plus, I've lost 5lbs! Woohoo! Anytime I ever went out to the bar, I was always so self-concious. I wondered if people were judging my outfit, hair, make-up or my size, ans I never ended up having a good time. But last night I rocked it. I was confident, I smiled, I danced, I felt beautiful! It's amazing how good you feel when you change your lifestyle. When you not only see results, but FEEL them as well, your entire attitude takes a 360° spin.

The weight & inches are coming off slowly, and I like it. I used to be obsessed with needing to lose weight fast and I always failed on those fad diets. But right now, I'm happy. I'm comfortable. I'm getting my self-respect, self-esteem, and self-worth back. I've lost almost 30lbs since I gave birth to my son, and honestly, I feel fucking fantastic! Seeing the numbers go down on the scale, and especially feeling my clothes getting looser, has given me so much motivation and willpower to keep going. Seeing the looks on my babies faces everyday remind me why I'm doing what I'm doing, and why I can't quit. They are my reason for everything, they're the reason I breathe.

This coming weekend I'm getting pictures of my beautiful little family taken! And I can't wait, which definitely speaks volumes as I HATE having full-body pictures done. But the

same photographer is taking pictures of me once I lose my 100lbs, and I can't wait to be able to see the comparison between the two shoots! (PS he's a super talented photographer, check out his fb page: www.facebook.com/jerrybelliardphotography)

So, as I said, I've lost 5lbs and only have 7 more to lose to get back to pre-baby weight!

I'm super pumped! Thanks for taking the time to read my blog, follow my journey, and show your support! I love you guys!

Happy Sunday!
-xo-
Caitie

PS, can't forget about a Sunday Selfie! *muah*

Guess Who's Back?

Alright, life is busy. I've barely had time to breathe! Don't get me wrong, I love it ... but I feel bad for not updating this blog more!

I'm officially at 263.2lbs, which means i'm only 10lbs away from being back at my pre-baby weight!! This is extremely exciting, as well as motivating. 

Since I've been so busy, I've been eating like crap. Normally when I'm busy I go almost the entire day without eating, then when I realize that, I'll go through the McDonalds drive-thru quick. Fast and easy ... and so horrible for you! Plus, I always feel like shit after I eat it. So why do I keep going back? Convenience. It's there, it's ready, and I don't have to make it! But.now that I'm only 10lbs away from a sweet weight-loss milestone, I'm gonna rock it! I'll be down to that goal in two weeks with lots of water, walking and exercising! (PS, if you want amazing, kick-ass workouts, download the Nike Training Club app on your phone!) Below is the most recent picture of me that I took this weekend! I'll be taking another one in two weeks when I've lost 10lbs!

If you've been following this blog, you know that my ultimate goal is to be down a total of 100lbs by February 21, 2014 (my sonS first birthday). I'm going to kick ass and rock the weight-loss and get to that goal, and I am so excited! I've written a list of "rewards" for every ten pounds that I lose! When I lose the 100lbs, I've decided to slurge and do a photoshoog with Jerry Belliard Photography (check 'em out on facebook, ah-mazing!) I've already booked the shoot, so now I need to stay focused and shed the weight! 

I've seen a few people this past week that I haven't seen in ages. All of them commented on my weight-loss, and said I was doing a great job! It was definitely a confidence booster bevause these last few weeks have been hard, and everytime I look in the mirror it feels like I haven't changed at all! It's hard to see changes in yourself, but that doesn't mean the changes aren't happening. 

What has your weight-loss journey been like so far? What challenges have you come up against? What are your goals? Obviously my biggest goal is to lose 100lbs, but I'd also like people to compliment me ... not to boos my ego, but I'd like people to see past outside. Get to know me, and I mean REALLY take the time to get to know me. I get sick of the "You have such a pretty face" and "You have beautiful eyes" compliments. Ya, they're 

nice and I appreciate them, but what about the rest of me? I wear clothes that compliment my body, not to hide it. I have a.pretty awesome personality, if I do say so myself. But nowadays, if you're over weight, no one wants to bother to even TRY and get to know you. 

I was checking out photos on Instagram the.other.day, and there was a girl modelling a shirt from the Kardashian Kollection clothes line. One of the comments I saw said: "She's kinda fat ... I don't mean like fat fat, but she's definitely bigger then she should be." ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? You're calling a.girl who.is most likely a size Zero, fat!? So now women basically have to be invisible, or at the least anorexic, or else they're considered fat. Wow! 

Fuck society. Screw all the people who think that way. Don't be a follower, be a leader. Let'schange the way society thinks. 

"The hardest thing is to be yourself, in a world that's trying day in and day out, to make you like everyone else." Frankly, I don't want to be like everyone else. That shit is boring. I want to rock the person I am. I want to love myself and ignore the assholes that think I'm disgusting for being over weight. I am who I am, and honestly, if you actually took the time to get to know me, I think you'd like me as well. 

Happy Monday! Go out, rock your body and your mind, and enjoy your day! 

I love you all!

xo

Caitie